Not only have I been slacking on my blog, I've also been slackin' on keeping up with my goals. As my follow-up doctor appointment started creeping up on me I began to behave worse rather than better. What is that? Then the week of the appointment I've been super good, like a bad kid who misbehaves while mom is away but panics the hour before they know she's going to be home. I haven't been giving this my whole-hearted effort. I realize that. I have made some small changes. Things that have made a small difference but not the true difference I really need.
Since I've started this blog I've lost 10lbs. Overall, an amount to be proud of I suppose. But when I look at how long that has taken I'm totally disappointed in myself. On a positive note, according to the doc's records, since all this baloney with my health started I've lost 20lbs. That is definitely a number to be proud of. I just really need to focus and use this time wisely and stop just piddling around at this. Ack. New focus. Stick to my blog and stay focused!! Pop on here daily if that's what it takes to give me that pep talk I need. Geesh. I feel like kicking myself in butt for wasting time but I'm ultimately glad that I have lost weight rather than put it on no matter what. I just have to remember that.
I need to focus on exercise and ignore the stupid blister I have on my heel. Ignore the fact that I slept in one position for so long that my shoulder aches. These aches that make me feel old. I think this weight really contributes to that "old" feeling. I don't get proper sleep and I don't do lots of things that I used to enjoy. I want to feel young again. The only time I've felt young lately is when I sat there in the doctor's office gritting my teeth, staring at the opposite wall, and mustering the bravest face I could while getting my shot. Took me back in time to those childhood shots and pretending they didn't bother me. ICK. I hate needles.
Time for the brave face and focus to be back on my health again.
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