The Wrong Way

As I stepped on the scale last Saturday and looked down, I cringed.  I knew it was going to be bad.  I'd eaten some stuff I knew better than to eat.  Well, it's one thing to eat french fries one day of the week, but two?  And not only were they french fries, but they were smothered with melted cheese and bacon.  What was I thinking?? I'll tell you what I was thinking...jello sucks, but fries in all their greasy goodness totally tickle my carbohydrate addicted self.  *sigh*  I wish that you could NOT eat carbs for a week and suddenly become NOT addicted to them. I realize that with some effort and extended time - longer than a week at least, I could beat this carb addiction, but for now, I struggle.  Boy do I struggle with it. 

I need to realize that this weight loss should stay LOSS.  Not go the other direction as it did this week.  I gained 2 pounds.  Doesn't seem like a lot but I'm trying to keep this going in one direction. 

 

Hopefully, when I step on the scale tomorrow, this week will not have been a bust, but I sort of know it won't be as good as I hope.  I have done better than last week, but I've still slid a little.  I know what I should be doing and that's the hardest part to swallow, or NOT to swallow.  I've read the books.  I know what is good for me and what isn't.  I know what a normal portion size is.  So what in the world is it in my brain that turns that off?? What is it that causes that evil voice to pop up and say "Just go ahead, we'll exercise tomorrow, it'll be ok" knowing that I won't exercise.  I need to figure out what it is.   They say that people who lack this turn-off switch are trying to fill something.  I'm not sure what I'm trying to fill, maybe I'll figure it out, maybe I won't.  I just know that I need some new habits.  Good ones.  Right now, I'm my worst enemy and I need to quit sabotaging myself.  I need to tell that little cheater voice to shut up and suck on a celery stick.