Popcorn = Yummyness

Popcorn.

It's a snack I've always seemed to have a love for.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm definitely not a fan of the hulls that get stuck in my teeth.  The ones you still find the following day, even after you've brushed your teeth.  But I really like popcorn.

I love how when you walk into the movie theater and that warm wonderful smell of movie popcorn floats about you.  I can already taste it before I've even walked past the usher that takes my ticket.  I can hear it popping and I can barely contain my excitement when the bored teenager behind the counter finally asks me what I'd like to have.  "A small popcorn and a large soda, please."

As soon as the words have left my mouth, I know it's a bad idea.  Movie popcorn never tastes as good as it smells.  I should know this by now, but there's something in my brain that turns off and is CONVINCED that this time will be different.  I also know this is a bad idea because that soda is too dang big.  I should not be drinking a soda in the first place, but a LARGE? What was I thinking?   I know what I was thinking.  I was thinking that my popcorn was going to be super salty and that I would NEED that much soda to keep from having my mouth turn into some strange unnamed desert.  Soon, with my now "free upgrade to medium popcorn because I'm a Stubz card member" popcorn in my hand, I march over to the butter faucet and let it pour.  Seriously.  They don't even try to hide the fact that you are dousing your popcorn with butter flavored oil.  I snag my handful of napkins and find my way to my assigned theater.

Once seated, I settle in and dig my hand into the bag and shove as many pieces I can hold in my mouth.  "mmf, blah, weally? Whey-a ith my thoda?"  Suddenly, I'm reminded, no matter how fresh it is, it always tastes stale, soggy and far too salty.  I wipe my oil slicked hand, fumble for my soda and think, "I should not eat this," as I scoop up another handful.  *sigh*

Popcorn.
I've always liked the popcorn that comes out of the home air pop popcorn machines with melted butter on top.  I'll even eat it if it's melted margarine on top.  Also, I've always thought that the microwave buttered popcorn was a good second best to air popped.  But naked air popped or naked microwave popcorn? No way.
All the fitness magazines, weight loss programs, and healthy eating blogs encourage eating plain popcorn as a good snack.  It has all these great vitamins and lots of fiber.  Lots of fiber.  Yeah, that's why it tastes like eating cardboard.  I just couldn't bring myself to get excited about plain popcorn.
Until...
my sister decided to pop some popcorn on the stove.  She dished some out for me.

Suddenly, I couldn't believe how good popcorn tasted!  Plain!  The freshness of every kernel as it crackles as I crunch.  The wonderful fresh popcorn smell that I look forward to when going to the movies.  It melts on my tongue as I devour the whole bowl.  I can't stop eating it!!! And I don't have to keep a stack of napkins OR a 2Liter size cup of soda on hand!  This plain popcorn is perfect to eat while plunking away at my keyboard.  Addictive it is!  I just can't stop!

Thanks to my sister, I now have a low-fat, low-calorie snack to eat that I actually LOOK FORWARD to and don't feel cheated in the least!

Goodness - has it really been that long?

When I look at the last date I posted on this blog, I have to hang my head a little in shame.  July?? Really?? Time flies. 
One would hope that with the passage of this much time that I'd have some rockin' weight loss to report.
One would hope.
One would have to keep hoping because, sad to say, I do not have such a thing to report.  In the last 3 months, I have gained, but then lost, so that I am still at the same weight I was in July. 

S

Not a totally bad thing, yes, but still not what my goal is. 
I'm trying not to be too hard on myself.  I've had a job change, and a new semester started.  Those sound like excuses, but the fact is - I'm a stress eater.  With the new job I've found myself mindlessly munching.  I've tried to keep smart snacks at my desk, but the odd piece of chocolate, candy and chip has found it's way in my desk drawer. 

I'm getting back on track.  Less eating out, more eating IN.  And hopefully, back to the gym!

Wish me luck.

Unexpected

Sometimes you feel like God is smiling down and you must be living right. Other times, you wonder what in the world is going on, are you missing something you are supposed to be catching? 

I've been ill several times this year.  Between having the allergy issues, the unexplained fever and various tooth issues, it's been kind of rough.  Then with the ever looming liver problems, I've been feeling like maybe my body is just falling apart.  Slowly.  

I'm sick, yet again.  I did NOT want to go to the doctor.  I dreaded the blood pressure chat that is always accompanied by the losing weight advice.  I wasn't in the mood.  I didn't FEEL up to my normal take-it-under-the-chin self.  I had no choice though, with my asthma I cannot be too careful or careLESS about a cold that hampers my breathing. I dragged my sorry butt into the doctor and talked myself into ignoring anything I didn't want to hear. Not healthy in a doctor office, I know, but obviously, I'm not a health nut. 

I've changed my appearance a small bit since the last time I went to the doctor.  I've gotten highlights in my hair and contacts, though this day I was in no mood for contacts, I had my new glasses on instead. When my doctor walked into the room she hesitated a moment and says to me "You look so different! I like this. You look so GOOD, why are you HERE?" 

Huh?

I was totally prepared for the lecture so this was a complete surprise.

"Um, thanks" *cough* *hack* "I'm having some trouble breathing."

Then she says "OH, I hear.  Well, I just have to say, you are doing so well with losing weight and you look wonderful, so whatever you are doing, keep it up, 'cause it's working for ya."

Who knew? 

My blood pressure was sort of normal too.  120/76.  I can't even remember the last time it was around there.  It was a very good feeling.  A feeling of almost relief.  To not only get a good blood pressure reading, confirm some weight loss, and get a compliment from the doctor.  All in all, not a bad doctor visit. 

I have to say - maybe all this being sick is helping.  I know, that sounds awful, but when I'm sick, I don't FEEL like eating.  Kind of my own built-in appetite suppressant.  Unfortunately, I'd rather do without this one. I'll suffer on my own with the cravings and munchies if I could get rid of this wheezy cough and congestion in my head. 

Making It Through the Valley of Calories

I survived my Birthday potluck and weekend.  I'm proud to say that I still managed to lose 2lbs while indulging in a few goodies.  I did put my best effort into trying to not go overboard as I am known to do. 

I've started a food log again.  It's through an app on my iPhone.  So far that is working pretty well.  It really helps me to be aware of what is REALLY going into my mouth. I lose track easy and I don't realize how many calories I'm actually consuming via liquid.  Those really add up quite fast.  I'm making better effort to keep track of those. 

One more week down.

Lost: 2lbs If found do NOT return to owner

I managed to lose 2lbs last week.  Oh happiness.  Any loss is a celebration. 
This week is my birthday week.  They are planning (yes, I've been advised - its not a surprise) to have a pretty fantastic birthday breakfast potluck for me on Friday.  ARGH.  Why did I pick Saturday mornings has weigh-in day? What was I thinking?
I'm going to do my best to not OVER-indulge.  I may indulge a tad.  I mean, I've heard my favorite cheesy potato casserole will be there.  ACK.  AND sausage quiche.  AND red velvet cake.  AND various other homemade goodies.  Lord, please walk with me through this valley of fat grams and calories! 

Ruff Day

Yesterday was the year anniversary of losing my Jessa. 

It was a hard day.  I know Mel thought I was nuts because I couldn't seem to stay home.  I just knew that if I stayed home I'd be eating.  I KNOW I'm a stress and depressive eater.  Food gives me that high that makes me feel comfort.  Yesterday was definitely a french fry or mac n cheese day, but I went shopping and goofing around instead.  I wanted to stay in bed and just be depressed but life moves on and things have to get done.

On the positive side, I didn't gain any weight last week - but I didn't lose any either.  I guess I need to celebrate the small victory of not going the opposite way on the scale this week. 

I did eventually cave and indulge in some french fries yesterday, but at least it was just a small. 

Disappointment

I went to the doctor to see the nutritionist.  I was disappointed.

She turned out to be a throwback from the 60's and more focused on getting me to embrace a fully organic diet rather than a "weight loss" diet or one focused on my liver issues.  I was handed some supplements and a diet that I personally find impossible to follow.  It's easier to say what I COULD eat (lots of fruits and veggies) than what I had to cut out (everything else).  How someone can look at a 300lb woman and think she can make that many changes at one time is beyond me.  Now to be honest, she did tell me to focus on one elimination each week until I'd achieved all of them, but I find that extremely difficult as well.
Instead I've decided to continue what I'm doing.  I'm seeing some results with it at least.  I'm fitting into jeans and shorts that I haven't been able to wear in over a year, so I know that I'm doing something right.  I'm continuing to just be more aware of what I'm eating rather than doing the mindless eating that has become such a habit.  I've been making sure I bring my lunch to work everyday and I feel like that has helped tremendously.  It also helps that those people I eat lunch with are also trying to watch their weight.  We've been holding each others' hands while the lunch hour approaches and you begin to hear the normal "where are we ordering for lunch?" conversations begin.  Those are sometimes very hard to ignore.
I'm bummed that I haven't seen results when I look in the mirror.  I love the fact that my pants size has changed but I'd really like to be able to look at myself in the mirror or in a picture and see some result.

I've had friends at work tell me they can see a difference but I can't see it.  I guess I need to stop expecting so much and be happy with the differences I'm making.  I knew this wasn't going to be a fast process.  I have to embrace the process and ride it out.  I know I can do it.  I just need a little shake every now and then.