For Health's Sake

When I began this weight loss effort it was not only because I wanted to be thin and looking fabulous but also because I'm approaching my 40's (ack!) as a morbidly obese adult.  My 36 year old body is beginning to show some cracks and good old fashioned wear and tear.  At the rate that I'm going my body will be completely useless by the time that I reach my 50's and I'll still not be old enough to tap into my retirement funds and have a good time.  This past Fall my doctor did a bunch of blood tests.  My thyroid was out of wack - no surprise, sugar was fine - believe it or not, but the shocker was something wasn't quite right with my liver.  This kind of made me nervous but I've been told that something as simple as Tylenol can make the numbers not quite right.  Another blood test was ordered.  After a couple more blood tests and an ultrasound, I was packed off to a gastroenterologist for a second opinion.  Talk about nervous.

He told me that I have a "fatty liver".  This causes the liver to become inflamed.  An inflamed liver leads to cirrhosis, which of course, leads to liver failure. 
 

Eek.

That's scary news to me.  Time to really take this weight loss seriously.  I was able to lose some weight on my own and the levels of my liver enzymes which is what increases with the fatty liver problem were lower.  This means I have not done irreperable damage at this point.  Phew. So tomorrow I go to see a nutritionist and get put on a medically supervised diet.  I have to say.  This scares me.  The only time I actually followed a diet was a short period of time while living with my sister-in-law.  I had all sorts of food dreams and I was miserable.  I didn't stick to it.  

My hope is that with this being "medically supervised" that I will be more likely to follow it.  I will be checking in with my doctor every two weeks for the first three months.  Then monthly after that.  With these check-ins, I think I will be successful.  That is the plan.  

I'm half dreading but yet kind of excited to start this diet.  I'm dreading the work and dicipline this will take but I'm looking forward to the results.  

Slackin' In More Ways Than One

Not only have I been slacking on my blog, I've also been slackin' on keeping up with my goals.  As my follow-up doctor appointment started creeping up on me I began to behave worse rather than better.  What is that?  Then the week of the appointment I've been super good, like a bad kid who misbehaves while mom is away but panics the hour before they know she's going to be home.  I haven't been giving this my whole-hearted effort.  I realize that.  I have made some small changes.  Things that have made a small difference but not the true difference I really need.

Since I've started this blog I've lost 10lbs.  Overall, an amount to be proud of I suppose.  But when I look at how long that has taken I'm totally disappointed in myself.  On a positive note, according to the doc's records, since all this baloney with my health started I've lost 20lbs.  That is definitely a number to be proud of.  I just really need to focus and use this time wisely and stop just piddling around at this.  Ack.  New focus.  Stick to my blog and stay focused!!  Pop on here daily if that's what it takes to give me that pep talk I need.  Geesh.  I feel like kicking myself in butt for wasting time but I'm ultimately glad that I have lost weight rather than put it on no matter what.  I just have to remember that. 

I need to focus on exercise and ignore the stupid blister I have on my heel.  Ignore the fact that I slept in one position for so long that my shoulder aches.  These aches that make me feel old.  I think this weight really contributes to that "old" feeling.  I don't get proper sleep and I don't do lots of things that I used to enjoy.  I want to feel young again.  The only time I've felt young lately is when I sat there in the doctor's office gritting my teeth, staring at the opposite wall, and mustering the bravest face I could while getting my shot.  Took me back in time to those childhood shots and pretending they didn't bother me.  ICK.  I hate needles.

Time for the brave face and focus to be back on my health again.