The Wrong Way

As I stepped on the scale last Saturday and looked down, I cringed.  I knew it was going to be bad.  I'd eaten some stuff I knew better than to eat.  Well, it's one thing to eat french fries one day of the week, but two?  And not only were they french fries, but they were smothered with melted cheese and bacon.  What was I thinking?? I'll tell you what I was thinking...jello sucks, but fries in all their greasy goodness totally tickle my carbohydrate addicted self.  *sigh*  I wish that you could NOT eat carbs for a week and suddenly become NOT addicted to them. I realize that with some effort and extended time - longer than a week at least, I could beat this carb addiction, but for now, I struggle.  Boy do I struggle with it. 

I need to realize that this weight loss should stay LOSS.  Not go the other direction as it did this week.  I gained 2 pounds.  Doesn't seem like a lot but I'm trying to keep this going in one direction. 

 

Hopefully, when I step on the scale tomorrow, this week will not have been a bust, but I sort of know it won't be as good as I hope.  I have done better than last week, but I've still slid a little.  I know what I should be doing and that's the hardest part to swallow, or NOT to swallow.  I've read the books.  I know what is good for me and what isn't.  I know what a normal portion size is.  So what in the world is it in my brain that turns that off?? What is it that causes that evil voice to pop up and say "Just go ahead, we'll exercise tomorrow, it'll be ok" knowing that I won't exercise.  I need to figure out what it is.   They say that people who lack this turn-off switch are trying to fill something.  I'm not sure what I'm trying to fill, maybe I'll figure it out, maybe I won't.  I just know that I need some new habits.  Good ones.  Right now, I'm my worst enemy and I need to quit sabotaging myself.  I need to tell that little cheater voice to shut up and suck on a celery stick.  

 

Can someone say "ouch"?

I've a new outlook on tooth pain.  Yes, I had a major toothache. 

I've never made fun of or belittled those who have had major toothaches before but I can honestly say, I never really had any concept of the pain.  

In the wee hours of Tuesday morning I awoke suddenly to a major pain in one of my teeth.  It was one of my teeth that seemed to have a small cavity.  I've got worse teeth, so I assumed something must've gotten lodged in the cavity and as soon as I brushed it would be fine. 

It wasn't.  I brushed my teeth several times and the pain just got worse.  I took some Ibuprofen to take the edge off, but the pain was so intense that I knew, I had no choice, I must go to the dentist.  AAACK!

I pulled up every bit of courage...ok, maybe courage is too strong a word, but it was not something I was looking forward to, so I pushed the dread to the back of my mind and hauled my butt off to the dentist.  I'd never gone to this particular one before but he turned out to be a good choice.  (Some people know what they are talking about when they refer you to a doctor.  Others, well, let's just say they ought to keep their opinions to themselves.)

A few hours and a root canal later, I was off on my merry way.  

When I've gone to the dentist in the past, I've been given Tylenol 3 as a painkiller.  This one says to me, "You had quite a bit of infection, so I'm going to give you a prescription for some generic Vicodin."

"Huh? For a tooth?" I'm thinking. 

With numb face and lips I head toward the Publix pharmacy.  I figure I'll make use of my wait time and grab some Jello and maybe some soup, so I can eat some lunch without munching the side of my mouth.  After waiting 20min for my meds, the numbness was wearing off.  I was beginning to feel pain that didn't even compare to the prior tooth pain pre-root canal.  "What have I done?" I'm thinking, as I'm also wondering how fast I could hop the pharmacy counter to grab that magical yellow-brown bottle and pop a pill.  I managed to control myself and politely accepted my little pharmacy package and left as quickly as I could.  Once home, I dosed myself and promptly passed out.

  

I skipped breakfast and lunch that day.  Then I had Jello and pudding for dinner.  The following day I was still afraid to eat anything solid.  Not until Thursday did I get brave and begin to eat normally again.  

The amazing and frightening thing in all of this is not how my neglect of my dental hygeine led to an extra expense, not to mention excruciating pain, it was the fact that I was able to lose a little over 6lbs this week because of it.  It makes one ALMOST think of starving themselves for a day each week.  I say ALMOST because I'm not idiot enough to believe it would work.  I've read enough fitness and nutrition articles to know better.  Doesn't mean it doesn't cross my mind anyway, we all have weak moments.