Dare I Say...New Beginning?

I won't go on about how I can't believe it's been a year since I posted, though I really hadn't realized that.  I won't go on about how this year will be different, there's only so many times I can say that and think anyone, even myself, still believes it. 
Seriously. 
I wouldn't say I'm ashamed of myself, but just hugely disappointed.  I'm swiftly approaching my 40th birthday this year and I'm no closer to my goal weight than I was at 36. 
You think back at all the benchmark birthdays.  You have such grand goals for each of them and the closer they get, the goals start becoming hastily revised.  You still have this thought in the back of your mind though that makes it okay, because "next benchmark year will be different." 
I'm not where I thought I'd be as I approach 40.  At all.  But where I am isn't all bad.  I've got a job, that's decent.  I have a newer car.  I've got a dog (some days that's not a positive).  I've lots of wonderful friends.  I also have an amazingly supportive sister.  Did I ever imagine that I would be creeping up on this birthday without my mother?  No.  We'll I get through it.  Yes.  Because of those great friends and my sister.  They keep me focused and out of the pitty-party valley. 
I joined Weight Watchers.  I'm on day 2.  I'm hungry. *sigh*  It's also day 2 of no soda.  Like an addict that has fallen off the wagon, I'm jumping back on.  I'm dusting off my weight loss marbles and I'm getting back on this horse. 
Here we go.